So You Want to Hire a Birth Doula—Here’s What You Should Ask
This photo is from my first 2025 birth.
Hiring a birth doula is one of the most important decisions you’ll make during your pregnancy. This is the person who will be by your side during one of the most intimate and transformative experiences of your life. Naturally, you want to ensure they are the right fit for you!
Many articles will tell you to ask the basics:
Are you certified?
How many births have you attended?
How long have you been a doula?
These are valid questions, especially if they matter to you. But let’s go deeper—because this isn’t just about credentials. This is about trust, connection, and emotional support. After all, your doula will be with you at your most vulnerable.
Here are some meaningful questions to ask when choosing the right doula for you:
1. What led you to become a doula?
This question gives insight into your doula’s "why." Everyone has a reason for stepping into birth work, and their story can reveal their passion, values, and dedication. Finding a doula who truly loves what they do can make all the difference in your birth experience.
2. What has been your most memorable moment at a birth?
Birth can be unpredictable, emotional, and deeply powerful. Asking about a doula’s most memorable experience helps you see what they cherish about their work. Plus, this often leads to a heartwarming story that sets a positive tone for your relationship.
3. Do you have children? Can you share a little about their birth stories?
This isn’t about whether a doula must have children to be great at what they do—it’s about connection. If your doula has given birth, hearing her experiences can create a woman-to-woman bond. And if she hasn’t, that’s okay, too! It’s all about opening the door for authentic conversation.
4. What are your thoughts on medicated and unmedicated births?
Your doula should fully support your birth plan, whether you envision an unmedicated birth, an epidural, or a planned cesarean. Asking this upfront helps you gauge whether she will honor your choices without bias or judgment. Birth is unpredictable, and you deserve someone who will stand by you no matter how your journey unfolds.
Choosing the Right Doula is About Connection
Hiring a doula should feel like forming a deep, trusting relationship—not just a business transaction. You deserve someone who makes you feel safe, empowered, and supported in every decision. Don’t be afraid to ask personal questions. The right doula will welcome the conversation and be excited to share her heart with you.
After all, we are all women walking this path together. 💛
